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Letter From a Biracial Child

Updated: Oct 5, 2024




Being a biracial girl with a white Irish Catholic father and a Black American mother is like living with one foot in two worlds. Growing up, I often felt like I was standing in the middle of a bridge, linking two distinct cultures and communities—each vibrant, each beautiful, but each with its own set of challenges and expectations. This unique experience has shaped who I am in ways I’m still discovering, and it’s something I wouldn’t trade for anything.


The Duality of My Identity


As a child, I remember how people would ask, “What are you?” or “Where are you from?” with a curiosity that sometimes felt invasive. I didn’t have an easy answer. I’m from my mom’s Soul Food Sundays and my dad’s family stories about ancestors from Ireland and Germany. I’m from the rhythm of Motown playing in the background while my mom braided my hair and the rock ballads my dad would sing along to on road trips. My identity is woven from these threads—each one a part of me, none of them more important than the other.


But with this duality came confusion. There were times I felt too Black for some spaces and not Black enough for others. My dad’s family, while loving, didn’t always understand the importance of my mom carefully detangling my curls, the bonnets she insisted I wear, or the need to have cocoa butter stocked in the house. My mom’s side sometimes looked at my dad’s world with a mix of curiosity, skepticism, and outright disdain, wondering how he could truly understand the struggles and beauty of being Black in America.


Navigating the In-Between


Navigating the in-between spaces has taught me resilience and adaptability. I’ve learned to code-switch not just in language, but in behavior and expectations. With my dad’s side, I might explain in annoyance why certain jokes just aren’t funny to me or why “I don’t see color” is more harmful than helpful. On my mom’s side, I might explain that just because I’m light-skinned doesn’t mean I don’t face racism or that I’m somehow shielded from the reality of being Black.


At school, things were different, too. I remember trying to fit into both the Black and white friend groups, sometimes feeling like I had to choose one over the other. There were moments of feeling like an outsider in both spaces. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that I don’t necessarily have to choose but the world will choose for me. While can exist fully in both worlds, bringing the best of both into every space I inhabit, I will always be Black in America.


Embracing My Whole Self


It wasn’t until I got older that I truly started to embrace the full spectrum of my identity. I began to see the strength in being both/and rather than either/or. I’m proud of my dad’s heritage, and I’m equally proud of my mom’s. I’ve learned that my biracial identity doesn’t dilute my Blackness, nor does it erase my connection to my white family. It’s a blend, a fusion, something unique that allows me to connect with people across different cultures and experiences. It is its language.


In a society that often wants to put us in neat little boxes, being biracial can feel like a challenge. But I’ve learned that it’s also a gift. It’s given me a broader perspective, a deeper empathy, and a richer understanding of what it means to be human. I can celebrate Juneteenth with as much pride as I celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, knowing that both are a part of me.


Looking Forward


I know that being biracial means my journey of self-discovery will continue throughout my life. I’ll keep navigating spaces that don’t always know what to do with someone like me. But I’ll also keep finding strength in the knowledge that I belong to both sides of my family because of the love they raised with me. That love also lets me know that I am a part of the world at large.


To anyone else who feels like they’re standing in the middle of that bridge, know that you don’t have to choose. You are enough, just as you are. Embrace your full self, all the layers and complexities, and know that you bring something special to every space you enter. Our world needs more bridges, and more people who can see the beauty in blending different cultures, perspectives, and experiences.


So here I stand, with one foot in each world, but fully grounded in who I am. And that’s a powerful place to be.


 
 
 

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